A detailed narrative of the event that changed my life...
I was sitting at home knowing there was a fire training that night, hoping that I might get to ride along and "hang out" at the station while all the firefighters did their thing. While that might sound like a strange thing for a 14 year old to do in her free time, living in a close knit community, we were all family, and I loved being around the comradery that filled the station. When Kyle got home that evening, I asked if I could go, and when we often fought like a typical brother and sister do, I was shocked when he said yes.
The training started like any other typical one. I stayed in the office watching TV and walked back and forth between that and watching the boys train with the hoses and work the pumper on the truck. I was inside the office when the phone rang.
"Gott Fire Department," I answered.
The voice on the line asked, "Andrea, do you know anything about an accident?"
"What are you talking about? I don't think there's been an accident, nothing out of the ordinary has occurred."
At this time, panic ensued and several trucks left out belting the lights and sirens. I told the voice on the phone that if she sent someone to the scene, to pick me up on the way. As I waited by the road, I was picked up and we traveled a short distance of only half a mile. As we drove up on one of the most horrifying scenes I've ever witnessed, it looked like an airport landing strip. There were lights and trucks and people everywhere. In the middle of all the chaos was an upside down fire truck, actually, part of a fire truck. Several pieces lay strewn about the yard.
"Oh My God," were the words that came out of my mouth. But not in a derogatory way, in a My God have mercy on what is happening right before my eyes kind of way. I had no idea what I was about to encounter. I wish I could go back and freeze that moment. I was sitting inside that truck and I was oblivious to the terror filled people running around that yard. I was ignorant to the fact that my life, right then, in that moment, was innocent. I had no idea what was about to punch me in the stomach. I had no idea, that this moment would be the last moment I had a living sibling.
As I ran up onto the yard to see who, of my friends, was be the subject of this terrible misfortune, someone said, "Andrea, it's Kyle."
Every fear that I'd ever known no longer meant anything. My worst fear was smacking me in the face. As I ran around the truck to get a visual of what was happening, there he was, There my defenseless brother was, inside that truck, with absolutely no hope of survival. My Mom and Dad were there. They were screaming and begging God to spare their son's life. Every single firefighter was trying everything they possibly could to get him out. After what seemed like an eternity, they finally untangled him from the wreckage. He lifeless body pulled out right in front of me. I remember his barefoot not having his boot on it. I remember everything, every single detail of that night.
We followed the ambulance to the hospital, and the nightmare that I was hoping I'd wake up from just kept on going. I called family member after family member and relayed the same message over and over, "Kyle's been in an accident and we don't know if he's going to make it."
Loved one after loved one arrived at the hospital to offer their support. Firefighters still in their gear lined that hallway waiting to hear the devastating news, praying for a miracle. I remember being dragged up and down that hallway, moving us from one place to another. I think maybe they were unsuccessfully trying to help us by giving us a room to await our fate. Finally, they ushered my parents into a room. They wouldn't let me in. At that moment, I think that's the only time in my entire life I've ever actually hated someone. I hated that nurse. How dare her take my family away from me when she knew that 1/4 of my family was lying unresponsive on a table somewhere in that awful place. I stood next to the door and when I heard my parents sobs, knew in an instant what had been revealed. We would be going home without a member of my family. My parents cried a cry that is specific to the kind of loss that one can't even imagine until you've experienced it. I believe in this instant, a fight or flight response came over me and I screamed at that nurse to let me in that room. She had no choice. What a terrible moment to be such an uncaring, unsympathetic person on a power trip.
My broken family embraced. And cried. The doctor took us to the room where my 19 year old brother's body was covered with a sheet. We hugged him and told him goodbye. As a 14 year old child, I don't believe I was developed mentally or emotionally to fathom what I was witnessing. From that point on, things become a big blur. I remember Mom having blood stains on her coat where she laid over her son's lifeless body begging him not to leave her. She praying that God would end this nightmare. I can see my Dad stroking Kyle's hair and hand as he sobbed knowing that he would never recover from this. I felt like a statue in that cold room. I didn't know what to do. Was this really happening? Is this my real life? From that point on, all I remember is the violent shaking of my mom's body as she laid next to me that night embracing Kyle's shirt that he wore that day. Clutching to the 19 years of memories that had abruptly ended in just a few hours of time.
The days that followed was just a continuation of the nightmare. Kyle's memorial was so honorable. I'm filled with pride when I think back on his celebration of life. What an amazing life it was, albeit a short one, but one that I'm so grateful to have been a part of.
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