Cora's birth story



Cora Whitney Partington * 10/30/12 * 8:09 pm * 7 pounds 10.3 ounces * 20.5 inches



"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

This scripture would be the focus of my birth plan as I sought strength to bring Cora into the world. AJ and I decided that we wanted something different for our birth of Cora; we don't view birth or labor as a medical event so we wanted it to be as natural as possible. With that statement, that is purely how we feel about birth and do not cast judgement on how others perceive labor/birth...every mother has a right to choose what kind of birth experience they desire.

During the 9 months that we prepared for Cora, we focused on scripture seeking strength and guidance from the Lord and we prayed for God's will to be done in the arrival of our daughter. I've always felt that my struggle with infertility was my testimony of how God continually works in our life through ups and downs whether we recognize it, or not. I also felt, that once God blessed me with this pregnancy, that the birth of our daughter would be a continuance of my testimony. The birth of Cora Whitney Partington was the most amazing experience that I've ever encountered. The presence of the Lord was undeniable during the 39 weeks and 5 days leading up to the arrival of Cora, and the 13 hours of labor it took to get her here. With that being said...the following is my birth story:

I started having contractions on the way to work that morning about 7:30; however, I wasn't sure it was labor. I believe I was in denial that it was really happening, especially because I hadn't ever experienced real contractions so I didn't know that's what they were. I taught my whole group reading lesson and decided about 9:00 that this possibly could be "it" since these pains were coming about every 4-5 minutes. I came home and called AJ on the way..to let him know this could be the real deal and I'd let him know if he needed to come home. Once I got home, I picked up our house (trying to ignore them as long as possible) and laid down for a bit, but these "pains" kept coming and I decided it was time for AJ to come home.

When AJ arrived, I got in the bath to relax and we called our doula, Michelle Howell. I would highly recommend, if you desire a natural birth, to seek the help of a doula. Michelle taught us relaxation techniques and how to move the baby down using simple exercises. She also taught us the way God designed the labor process. She arrived about an hour later and I was continuing to relax and breathe through the contractions (which were about 3 minutes apart, lasting about 60 seconds). This was about 11:30-12:00ish. Contractions (which I was no longer in denial of now!) were getting more intense and we were managing them with massage, warm blankets, walking, kneeling, heat, etc. I got in the shower for about an hour and a half which provided the most relief. I tried to stay as relaxed as possible in between contractions and managed by breathing through one contraction at a time. It seemed like time flew by!

We transitioned to the hospital around 5:00ish. Being in the car was very uncomfortable and I called on the Lord for strength and recited Joshua 1:9 over and over. I also used Christian songs like How Deep the Father's Love for Us  which has a line that says, "his dying breath has brought me life" and I tried to focus on Christ's love and sacrifice for me to remind me that I could bring this life into the world. Another song You're Not Alone which says "you are not alone, for I am here...let me wipe away every fear and, I've never left your side, I've seen you through the darkest night" reminded me of the journey I've been on and how God remains faithful. I listened to the words of these songs and several others to keep my focus and to continue to work through the transition stage of labor. Once at the hospital, after being checked, I thanked God that I was 8 cm...I didn't want to have a lot of work left to do at the hospital and I was afraid we might have gone too early..which was not the case. Contractions became manageable by vocalizing and pushing at that point. I couldn't get past 9 cm because my water was holding her back so we made the decision to have the doctor break it...however...during my last contraction (before real pushing) my water broke. I was checked again, and ready to go! I started pushing...pushed for about 20-30 minutes and my life changed forever as we welcomed Cora into the world at 8:09 pm! Upon holding my sweet girl for the first time, I was amazed at what God had just enabled me to do and the opportunity that had been given to me. The birth process is a perfect one, designed by God and is extraordinary that our bodies can do this amazing thing.  I thanked God for the blessing of Cora and will continue to, for the rest of my life.

I've been asked, would you do it again...absolutely. I have no doubt in the Lord and His ability to provide for me when I need Him. Birth is a gift that women get to experience, and it's one I'm so grateful that I've been given.

Pregnancy Milestones

I've been meaning to write down all of the things that are specific to my pregnancy in a timeline of events sort of way...so I thought maybe the best place to do that would be my blog...until I get a baby book.

I guess I should start from the beginning: found out we might be pregnant on Feb. 24th...confirmed on the 25th. Thought my eyes might be deceiving me and that second pink line might not actually be there so I had to wait a day to confirm!! The next 4 weeks following would be an emotional scary roller coaster as there were several events that led me to believe this one would end up like my previous three. After our first viewing of Miss Cora with a heartbeat of 142 at 7 weeks (March 20), we still weren't out of the woods. Over the next week, I did as much resting as possible and took it easy as instructed. Finally, I was reminded that God ALWAYS provides...and was released from Nashville fertility after getting our first report with ONLY GOOD NEWS for the first time in two years!! I was 8 weeks along, Cora had a heartbeat of 170, and was considered a normal pregnancy! WHAT?!? That was a very emotional day for me. I realized, and actually said, I'm going to be a mommy for the first time...even though for many more months and even still, I shake my head in disbelief because it's still hard to believe it's happening. At 9 weeks (April 2), we had our first REGULAR ob appointment with a heartbeat of 192...it was at this appointment Mommy and Daddy started leaning toward thinking we were having a girl! Continued to have great appointments and the next big milestone was confirming that girl prediction at 15 weeks (May 12)...one day before mother's day...and EXACTLY two years from the day that I found out I was pregnant for the very first time. At 18 weeks, Mommy felt Cora's little movements for the first time, movements that I knew were actually hers and at 22 weeks, Daddy felt Cora for the first time. The following week, we could see little movements from the outside. Here in the past month, she's started to do some big movements (sometimes painful) and I've seen her moving across my entire belly. It's amazing to me because I can already tell she has a little personality! If she has the hiccups for a long time, she starts moving around and I assume she's getting mad. (Who wouldn't? I hate the hiccups!) Also, we've said she's quite stubborn. She can be moving around like crazy and when someone goes to feel her, she's as still as a statue! I can't wait to meet this sweet girl to put the face with the personality, and I absolutely cannot wait to hold her in my arms. With every pregnancy milestone, with each passing day, with every movement...God gets all the glory.

Next pregnancy milestone: Birth date...TBA!!!

The Magic Pig

The above statement is one that is true; however, not in the sense that you might think! When my mom was pregnant with my brother over 30 years ago, everyone in her office teased her for being so big. Come to find out, my 23 inch brother in utero of my 5'1" mother was the reason for her being so large! It became a joke to pass around the pig in the office of those who were trying to get pregnant...and low and behold the majority of these ladies would turn up preggo. A few months before finding out I was expecting, Mom suggested that I take the pig. At first, I was hesitant because if you read my earlier post here you know that with all the hardship we faced in the previous two years, we weren't sure about continuing down that path. Eventually, the pig landed on my fridge and a bun landed in my oven! After the pig worked it's "magic" I passed it along to a friend in my small group who was trying to get pregnant...I'm excited to say that baby Nora Druen will be here at the end of December! But the story doesn't stop there. She passed it along to another small group member and...baby Harris will be here in February! I have a plan of who is getting the pig next and I know it's going to work for her too, it will be a blessed day, when I get to say about this very special person...the pig strikes again!

Ready...Set...GO!

Getting things ready for Cora are in full swing at the Partington household! This Momma has been preparing by watching bow tutorials and creating sweet little ribbons to accessorize outfits...I was a "bowhead"...and my daughter will be too!

We finally got some furniture!! It only took 2 months and a mini meltdown for it to happen. We had originally ordered from a catalog and upon finding out it had been discontinued (cut meltdown) after it was backordered for over a month and supposed to be shipped, the search began again. It didn't take long until I found some more that I loved and it's already arrived and been put together by Cora's Daddy...although the instructions weren't the greatest!

I recently purchased a sling because I've got several friends who have used one (and a sling had been their lifesaver). I'm a firm believer in babywearing so I was very excited to get that purchase in the mail. If you haven't ever checked out zulily...I highly recommend it...I got my sling for half price! I couldn't have Cora come and not know how to use the sling so we had to prepare for that as well, the cabbage patch doll assisted with this. Read about the benefits of babywearing.

I've been experiencing many more changes as I've gotten further in my pregnancy. For one, (besides the growing belly) I'm feeling her move a lot more now and can see her bouncing around in there sometimes. AJ has gotten to feel her too, which was really exciting. We still have quite a way to go in the pregnancy just yet....so more preparations to make and more changes to come...all very exciting!

4 Years of Being Real

4 years ago, on this date, I became a wife. It's true what they say, time flies when you're having fun. Now, I could say that marriage is all love and hearts and fairy tale, but it's not like that 100 percent of the time. It's not like the movies...however I have found my happily ever after. AJ and I have an imperfect marriage and I don't expect it to be any different (he's taught me to be realistic). I've learned a lot about him and myself in the past 4 years. In the total time we've been together, we have both grown into what I like to believe, better people, because of each other. God placed him into my life and I wouldn't have guessed that this was where we were headed...however I'm so glad His plan is perfect. I know that no matter what life throws at us, we'll get through it together. When it comes down to it, what matters is trust and honesty and being able to depend on your significant other. I love AJ with my whole heart, and he is my best friend. At the end of the day, no matter how great or crappy it's been, I know that I'm ending it with him. There are many reasons why I love this man (who definitely knows how to drive me crazy) and I thought I'd share some of them.

For one, he can make me laugh until I can't breathe. It's important to laugh because life is not meant to be serious...all of the time. We have this joke, when we were on our honeymoon, we were listening to a comedian and I said I wondered what it would be like to have a comedian in the family. SO..whenever he really gets me going, that's what he says to me.

He helps around the house. That's right ladies...he does the vacuum, dishes, trash, mop, laundry, ironing...you name it! It really perturbs me when husbands don't help their wives with house chores because "that's a womanly duty." Seriously, this is the 21st century, and men are not above housework. Why spend a whole day doing housework when the two of you can cut the time in half? I know that if we have a son someday, that he will help his wife because AJ helps me, and that's important to me.  

He likes to plan ahead to know if we will be together at dinnertime. Now, most of the time, this drives me insane because he'll ask me what time I'll be home and I'll say I don't know because how can one judge how long school work or (ahem...shopping) can take? But it means a lot to me that he cares about the time he spends with me. At least, that's what I'm telling myself...it's not so he can schedule a fishing or golf outing right?

He has stuff that he enjoys doing such as golf, fishing, and hunting. I love that we do things together but I love that we don't have to do everything together. I think an important part of marriage is enjoying things separately as well as together. Otherwise...wouldn't you run out of things to talk about? Also, it gives me something to give him a hard time about because we don't see trophy winning deer or turkey or "keeper" fish too often. ;0) LOL.

He is a Godly man. He seeks a relationship with our Lord and Savior and he realizes that all good things come through knowing Christ Jesus. I love that it's important to him to give to God. I love that he recognizes the good that God has given us, and the tough that he's pulled us through. I know, that in our parenting, he will put his relationship with his daughter in God's hands.

He is going to be an AMAZING Dad. I know that once our sweet girl gets here, that's no hope for him. He's going to be so in love; and I in love with him for that reason. I know that he will protect her with his life and he will love her with everything he's got for the rest of his. I know he'll help her practice catching a softball, encourage her to do what she loves and to always try her best, and I bet he'll make one adorable princess (you know if she asks him to play dress-up...mommy might have a hand in that).

He keeps my feet planted on the ground. I am a dreamer and a firm believer that things will all work out with little to no effort. He reminds me sometimes that I might not be thinking realistically and he's taught me to get my head out of the clouds... when needed.

He loves to experience new places and that's a passion we share. He acts like a little kid in a candy shop when we go on vacation. I have big plans for us when we retire...yes, I'm aware of how far away that is...but a girl can dream right? LOL...see previous point.

He works hard, he's a goal setting driven individual who wants to succeed in life. This is an important characteristic that I want our child(ren) to possess as well. He has a desire to provide for our family and while he can sometimes worry about this a little too much, he's doing a great job.

The other night, at 11:11, he said...it's 11:11 make a wish. I told him that I didn't have anything to wish for, that I couldn't be more happy than I am right now. I thank God for all of it because God gave me AJ. Happy anniversary, my love, 4 years and counting...and they keep getting better!

 

With baby...comes change!!

I've written a couple of different posts about my pregnancy but nothing actually related to pregnancy details...so I thought I might write a little bit about the changes I've noticed in carrying a sweet little peanut.

Sickness...not so much. I'm not a puker...and other people will say they aren't either...but I really mean it. The last time I was sick like that was when I was a little girl, like 8 or so years old. I don't really have a weak stomach so maybe that's why I didn't have worse case scenario like some of my preggo buddies. I did experience some nightly nausea after dinner for a few weeks but nothing some lounging on the couch and some ginger ale couldn't cure! I've been extremely grateful for any symptom or lack of symptom. For two years, I said that the day I puked as a symptom of pregnancy I would jump for joy and praise Jesus! I've done a lot of jumping for joy (well more like bouncing because I have this fear that she'll fall out if I jump...or run) and a lot of praising Jesus...but no puking! Morning sickness was something that I envied of other pregnant women. I know you might think that's crazy, but baby hunger will make you feel some crazy things!

Fatigue...I guess? I feel like I've always been tired. But that's a work hazard I signed up for when spending your days with little ones! Maybe I'm a little more tired, because I don't sleep worth a darn. My mom says it's my body's way of preparing me for being up every two hours when our precious baby girl gets here. I say it's because I wake up on my back and know I'm not supposed to be laying like that so then I have to re-adjust the pillows that surround my entire body and turn back on my side... and that's a vicious cycle that repeats alllllllllll night long.

Pregnancy Brain...Probably my biggest symptom!! Good gravy...my brain has officially taken a vacation. I can't think of words, I say the wrong things, I forget stuff, I put awards in the recycle bin that I need for my awards ceremony, I get off wrong exits on the parkway, it takes me three tries to get to a restaurant I've been to a million times, need I go on?...I've been told it never returns...LORD HELP MY FAMILY  if that's the case! Yikes!

Cravings...Nothing crazy. I randomly made macaroni and tomatoes one day because that sounded delicious but other than that...I think all food sounds good at this point, except for chex mix. I ate a lot of that in the beginning and now the sound of that repulses me. I'd say stuff with tomatoes IN it has been a common joy of mine, which I'm not the biggest fan of tomatoes, so I guess that's weird? BUT salsa sounded gross at the beginning, so as long as it was tomatoes, but not in salsa...we were all good! Haha...did that make any sense, because I'm pretty sure I just spoke in a complete circle.

That's pretty much it. I'm just enjoying each day of this sweet baby growing inside of me, and I'm looking forward to the day she decides to meet us! I hope that I'm blessed to experience this again someday, but I know that's never guaranteed, so I'm just taking it a day at a time and relishing every moment...with my Faithful Redeemer by my side.

My baby's angels

I still find it very surreal that I'm going to be a Mom. I don't think there will ever be a doctor's appointment where I'm not plagued with terror that this will be when the road of good news ends. I guess it's the overwhelming fact, that God loves me enough to give me a child, that's so unbelievable. What else that's astonishing is how much I love her already. I daydream about what she'll look like and I have anxiety with knowing that every choice I have made for the past 4 months and every choice I will make, for the rest of my life...will directly affect my daughter. I find myself being much more emotional when I think about how important family is, maybe it's because our family will be the people that love and care about Cora the most. Maybe it's the family members that aren't here that I know Cora will never get to have the joy of knowing and loving that makes me so emotional. While she will not get to know them, I've learned that they already know her. The other night, I had a dream. A dream, more real than any other I've ever had in my entire life. During my unconscious slumber, I dreamt I was at school (at least I think it was at school because the position I appeared to be in, was work) and everything was going wrong. Flashes of things kept happening in my dream that were wrong and I had no control over fixing them. Like, extremely wrong. I don't remember all of the things that kept happening but what was very realistic was my feeling of deep helplessness and loss of control. Let me put a little plug in here about me not being a control freak, I'm pretty go with the flow, so maybe that's why this feeling was so profound? As I walk down the hallway (of what I believe to be my school) I'm staring at the floor with a crushed feeling inside of me and on the brink of my breaking point. As I look up, what stops me dead in my tracks, was my Pappy. Now I've had dreams with my grandparents and brother in them before, but it was not like this. In other dreams, they've been a mere outline with few details. My pappy stood there, just as real as I remember him, in his brown work boots and belt, his blue Dickie's work outfit, and a pen in his shirt pocket. As soon as I saw him, the pressure in my chest subsided and a feeling of peace came over me as he asked me what was wrong. We walked together and I don't remember what we talked about, but just that we talked. Soon after this, my dream ended and I woke. I woke, drenched in sweat and gripped with fear. Had I stopped breathing last night, had I almost died? If I had stopped breathing, was my baby okay? Chills ran up and down my spine as I processed what had just transpired. Finally, the feeling of peace, much like the one in my dream washed over me as I realized that God sent Pappy to me in my dream. He was a message that everything will always be okay. No matter how uncontrollable things are, it will still be okay. I have been battling with the sadness that these important people who have gone on, will not be apart of my daughter's life. And now, I know that they will be.

A psalm that sticks

I've seen many people that I love face lots of heartache. Heartache such as loss, despair, lonliness, sadness, brokenness, and bitterness. While I too, have faced heartache, I no longer look at it as that. Every moment of my life, where I've faced brokenness...I now see it as a stepping stone to something greater. I know that God has something great planned for my life, could this be it, now? Yes. Could it be coming? Yes. Whatever is in my unique plan, it's my prayer that my heart is open and my faith is...just that...faith. Do I fear that I'll miss it? All the time! But I know my God is relentless and he won't give up on me. To know that God doesn't give up on me, it's not fair for me to give up on Him. For that, I turn to Psalm 40.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord, who have no confidence in the proud or in those who worship idols. O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. You have no equal. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them. (NLT Psalm 40 1-5)

When facing a valley, I know a mountain is just around the corner. That's what God does for me. He doesn't leave me alone to hurt. If you are facing hurt tonight, it's my prayer for you, that you will see the solid ground God sets you on, and you feel the steadiness in your walk. I love this psalm because it sticks with me and I appreciate the peace it gives. Maybe it'll bring you peace or hope tonight as well, whatever you're facing or wherever you might be.

God Blessed the Broken Road

It is my belief that God has a specific plan for you to carry out in your lifetime; if that plan He has for me is to help one person with my story...then I believe that plan is perfect, just as He meant for it to be. With that being said...here's our story:

Just an hour after saying "I do" to the person God placed in my life, I danced to Rascal Flatts "God Blessed the Broken Road." As I looked in the eyes of the man I knew would be the amazing Father of my children, little did I know, that the broken road that brought us to each other, had yet to begin. The past two years, have been just that, broken. Heartache and Challenge stared deep into our eyes as we fought our battle with infertility. During an unexplainable time, it's hard not to place blame for something that you don't feel you deserve. Or feel like you must be such scum that you're being punished. All of these thoughts and feelings and worse went through my mind as we lost child after child. About 6 months ago, I decided that God has a far greater plan in mind and that we were supposed to adopt. After much discussion, we sought some information and found that wasn't in the cards for us either. The only road not traveled was seeing a specialist. Let me say that at this point, my relationship with God consisted of intense prayer mostly during the tough times and deep misunderstanding associated with disconnectedness. At the breaking point of thinking you know what God wants you to do and then being confused time and time again...my only option was to give up and let God take total control. Imagine being in a room full of doors and you've tried all the wrong ones and there's only one left...it's the only way out; my prayer went something like this:  God, I have no idea what I'm doing, I have no idea what you want me to do, and I can't do this anymore. I'm yours, do with me what you wish. It's all you, God. Amen. Literally, that was my prayer. I don't remember at what point I remembered something someone had shared with me that would become so powerful in this walk, but it was soon after that prayer. (God hears our prayers, no matter how perfect or imperfect you think they are.)

After our first loss a dear friend had shared with me a website that had guided her in her battle with infertility. At the time, I wasn't ready to face that this was going to be a challenge for me but upon remembering it 17 months later, it couldn't have been at a better time. http://www.sarahslaughter.com/ is a website that offers so many resources and support for infertility battling couples. I signed up for the daily double portion which is a devotional that relates infertility to the bible. The peace and understanding that I recieved from these daily devotionals and the joy that replaced bitterness is something that's almost undescribable. I waited each day for these emails and was filled with pure excitement when they would show up in my inbox. I don't think I was ready for them until this point in my life because I didn't yet understand how God was providing for me during my struggle. I was going to be okay, that's what I learned. I learned God wasn't punishing me, God ached for me. He ached for me the way I ached for a baby and he provided comfort for me when I hurt the most but I had to recognize it and praise Him for it. I have pleaded for God's forgiveness many times for turning away. As the journey of seeing a specialist began, the relationship I would continue to build with God would become strong and unbreakable. I took each day one at a time praying for God's will to be done and praying for guidance each step of the way. I became grateful for the battles I'd faced because I wouldn't have sought God or the relationship I have now, otherwise.

At the specialist, we found out there's no medical reason why I shouldn't be able to carry a baby or have a healthy child with my husband. We praised God. We found that my tube I'd had surgery on before was blocked and needed to come out. We praised God. As I sat scheduling the surgery, little did we know what God already was working out for us. Almost three weeks away from my surgery date, we were blessed upon seeing two pink lines. We praised God and prayed that God would walk beside us whatever the outcome would be for pregnancy number four. God not only walked beside us, I believe He carried us (and continues to) and had His precious hands wrapped around the miracle inside my womb each second of each day that I pray. It's with a humble and grateful voice that I speak these next words...AJ and I are having a baby. A baby that God gave us. Our precious gift that we prayed about each and every day for 22 months has been given to us. As I sit here with tear stained cheeks, I'm overwhelmed with the love that God has shown me...a lowly sinner who isn't anything special and who had to learn to trust...and He loves me anyway. God is an awesome God...and I'll never forget the broken road that He so richly blessed.

Another year...

Well the 26th year is upon me. Some highlights of 25 include...

First and foremost...finishing my master's degree...WOOHOOO!

An amazing cruise to the Bahamas with my hubby.

Finishing a stack of chick lit this summer.

A trip to visit family in Illinois with my Nana and Mom.

Joining a small group and making memories/building friendship that will last until I'm old and...are you kidding...I'll never be gray (as long as they're making hair dye that is).

Watching my bestest friend marry the love of her life.

Doing 25 Random Acts of Christmas Kindness.

Spending many a minutes with cherished friends talking, crafting, seeing movies, etc.

Getting to spend another year doing what I love on a daily basis. I'm fortunate enough that I love going to work everyday!

An all girls shopping trip to Nashville with my in-laws.

Starting my blog...even though I don't post all too often.

In the year ahead, I'm already looking forward to...

Seeing several of my friends begin their journey of motherhood

Donating my hair to charity

A trip to the beach

Figuring out my embroidery machine...I hope

Learning how to get the most out of my DSLR camera

Learning to sew

What I'll come up with in the shower.

The unknown....


Until next time...

The Almighty Listener and Planner

Tonight my prayer is this: Lord, I want to thank You for being a good listener. Even when what I say isn't of any importance, I know that I matter to You, which I am so grateful for. Thank You for talking to me...whether its through a friend, a moment in the day, a scripture, or a song...I pray that I will discern Your voice and follow the path that You are leading me down and do it intentionally without fear or question. I know the plan You have for me is specific to only me because You had it in mind before I was ever a glint in someone's eye. Your plan is important and Your love for me is overwhelming. God, my hope is that I don't disappoint You. I love You with all my heart, my soul, and my mind. Thank You for Your saving grace. Amen.